I forget which three...

Today, I must air a frustration. Yesterday I was at the hairdressers with Kelsey, and my haircut was finished much more quickly than hers was, so I was standing and chatting with her and her hairdresser. As we chatted, the subject of how many kids we had came up, and I said I had five kids. Now, people often look at me a little weirdly when I say that, because I am only 27, and I must admit, I look young for my age, so they do not think it's physically possible. So, I explain, after the look, that I have three step kids, and two that I pushed out myself. Then the inevitable question of "well how old are they?" and I tell them...18, 16, 10, 3 and 6 months. Most people make some kind of remark about how at least my step kids are older and I don't actually have to "mother" them, or some such nonsense. Can I just say how much this bothers me? I am completely aware that I did NOT give birth to my stepkids, and that I have missed out on many years of their lives, but let me assure you, that this makes me nothing but sad. However, I am a huge part of their lives now, I spend at least 5 of 7 days every week with them, and I miss them SO much when they are gone. Why do people have to make it sound like I should be relieved that I don't HAVE to be a part of their lives? When they cry, my heart aches with them, when they laugh, so do I. Why do people have to minimize my role in their lives or my relationship with them? I have a close bond with each of them, and I treasure that just as much as I do with the two that grew inside me. Why do people need to distinguish that I have step kids and biological ones? We are one family in this house. Period.
So, the next time someone asks me how many kids I have, I am going to respond the same way I always do, I have five. If they push it, I will borrow a line I recently read and say yes, I have three step kids...but I forget which three.

Granny and Pops

My grandparents have been in town for the last three weeks. We were able to spend some time with them, and it was WONDERFUL. They were yet to meet Declan, Brett, Justin and Kelsey, so it was nice to finally get them together.

They are two of my favorite people in the world, so I'm glad my kids are all getting to know them.

So, it's been awhile....

but tonight, I can't sleep. So I've decided to come and write on my blog, which incidentally, I've been neglecting. Life has been busier than usual around here, and for once, I actually feel like I'm doing something important. I know that being a mother is ALWAYS an important job, but lately, I really feel as though I've made some extra special connections with the kids.

A couple weekends ago, I took the kids to the WonderShows carnival, which my generous sister got us free tickets to.

This is a picture of the kids on the tilt-a-whirl...and may I add, that whoever thought it would be fun to create this ride, may have been insane!
And here are Brett and Khai enjoying bumper cars. May I just say that my heart swells with pride when I see this picture! Brett let Khai sit in the drivers seat and helped him steer. He is such an awesome big brother!

These are from way up in the sky, on the ferris wheel! That was probably my favorite, especially when we were stopped halfway down, and Khai says ,"Now, how are we going to get down from THIS?" I almost peed myself laughing =)

It's been so wonderful just being a mom! Getting to know my kids as they change each day, is truly an awesome experience. I feel so honored to be a part of each of their lives. Seeing them everyday, makes my days better, even when they are fighting with each other, with us, or even with themselves, they are each a gift from God, and I love each of them dearly.

On another note, we just found out that Helmut has to have surgery on his back. It's very scary for me, even though I won't tell him that...he would only worry more, knowing that I am worried. I've read all about the surgery on the Mayo Clinic's web site...very helpful stuff I might add...but there are sometimes when having more information, simply doesn't relieve the anxiety. So, I come again, as I do so often, to the feet of my Lord, and I ask for Him to take these burdens, because only He can.