Friday, February 22, 2008
Does anyone remember in grade/high school, when you were dating someone, and you were on the phone with them ALL the time? Telling them your hearts desires, how stupid the rules your parents had were, how annoying your siblings were; whatever was in your heart, or in your head, you shared. Then, after your phone curfew was up, you'd write notes (at least I did), letting them know every thought you had, until you went to bed. I used to think that you lost that once you were in an "adult, mature" relationship. I thought that, that is, until I met Helmut. I still feel an aching desire, to tell him everything; to share ALL that is within me; to let him know the real me, and in return, to know him completely. He is the first one I call when something good happens, when the kids do something extraordinary, or when I hear bad news. There are somedays when I simply need to hear the sound of his voice and my nerves become much less sensitive, others when his laugh gives me complete comfort. His arms are the strongest I've ever felt when they are wrapped around me, and the most gentle when he is caring for any of our kids. I've never known anyone like him, and even more special, I still want to tell him everything. He is my best friend.
As I said, I have five kids. The three oldest, Kelsey, Justin and Brett, are my stepkids, the two youngest are Khai and Declan. I must say, I hate that I have to make that distinction. I love them all as my own. It was a surprise to me, the first day I realized that I thought of them all as my own. Those of you who are parents, know that there is no love like the love for your child; I feel the same instinctive defence of them when they get picked on; the same pain when someone hurts their feelings; the same fear when they hurt themselves. I feel this for ALL my children, and I felt that way very shortly after meeting these three amazing kids; there is no turning back.
Right now, Khai is in Carman, visiting my parents, and while I am enjoying the peace and quiet, (and the chance to finally start my blog) I miss him dearly. There is less life in the house without him, and I miss his smile.
Well, duty calls! Declan is awake!