Another friend.

**Again, I preface this post by saying that there were MANY MANY people who I felt were there for me during the first two years of Khai's life.  I love each and every person who helped me out during that time***

Post partum depression.  It's real and it hits many of us mom's (new or otherwise) deal with it in one form or another.  It's hard when you have a newborn who requires all of your attention, physical and emotional energy as well as anything else you may have stored up, plus some you don't.  It's even harder when you are alone.  When you don't have a husband to lean on, when you feel like you are facing the world alone. 

After I had Khai, I suffered from a mild form of depression, for almost 2 years.  My hormones were incredibly out of balance and every little thing seemed like the end of the world. 
I found out that my mat leave was ending early (even though they'd approved it for the regular period of time) and I took a job as a nanny.  Twice.  You'd think I would have learned after the first time. 
I hadn't dated anyone since I found out I was being cheated on in my fifth month of pregnancy and I was lonely. 
The only joy in my life was Khai.  He made things bearable and there were often times when I would sneak into his room after he had fallen asleep and hold him in my arms and weep.

But, I did have a friend.  She talked to me for endless hours on the phone; she watched Khai almost at the drop of a hat; she offered me advice and support and well...love. 

My sister, Michelle, was that friend.  She made me feel as though there was someone else in this with me.  Made me feel like I always had someone in my corner.  She made a difference to me.  And I will never forget that. 

I love you Michelle.